I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
