Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
