Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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