I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im holly from the hills drunk
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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