The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
