so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
