Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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