Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
