Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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