Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
