I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
