I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
