when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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