Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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