so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
At least life still wants to fuck me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
