i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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