Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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