ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
