Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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