apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
