so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
it hurts more in the daytime
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
