I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
