So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Btw I puked in your glovebox
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
