oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
