god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
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update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
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It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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