Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize