STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
