is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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