Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have fence marks all over my body
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
