They should really pass out barf bags in church
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Are my feet made of real feet?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
