Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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