How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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