Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
