Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize