so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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