They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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