Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
