Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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