he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
