the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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