I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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