ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have so many feelings about this burrito
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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