I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
