So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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