She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am spending my child support on dildos
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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