So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
