Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
