Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i permit you to call me
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
