what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
