he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
