I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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