ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
