im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
