i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
