Welp...herpes.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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