I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
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i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
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I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize