I looked at my own cervix.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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