I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My feet surprised me
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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