I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
