This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
This can only be settled by a dance off.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
