Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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