i would punch a child for taco bell
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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