Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
