i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
