Porn is love you can see.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
