Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
