1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
