is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
