Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
