yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
