You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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